Is it Bronchitis or Heartburn?

However, I knew that it was time for me to be the supportive and understanding wife. Not the wife that is looking at the time. I needed to ignore the fact that it was after my bedtime, although I was beginning to feel the heaviness of good sleep weighing down upon my eyelids.

A few weeks ago, the love of my life was dealing with what would be diagnosed as Acute Bronchitis.  He had been dealing with the symptoms of coughing and a slight difficulty in breathing for a while.  He was managing it with his inhalers, assuming it was asthma due to the change of weather.  After going to the doctor he was diagnosed and given prescriptions. That night, he had to pick up a prescription that had mistakenly not been given to him earlier during his trip to the pharmacy.

On this same night for dinner, we had smoked chicken, sausage, potatoes, and steamed vegetables.  Alas, it twas not I that cooked this delicious meal.

Skipping ahead, the huz-band left around 8:30 that evening to pick up the missing medicine. On his return, he comes in the house with what sounds like a forced calmness in his voice.  He says, “My lungs feel like they are burning and I can’t breathe.  I need to go to the hospital!”  I thought to myself, “If you can’t breathe, how are you able to talk?” Now I can’t lie.  My first thought wasn’t “Oh my goodness!  What’s wrong with my baby?”  It was, “Are you kidding me?  I just powdered down and put my pajamas on.”  I literally had one leg in the bed while my second leg was in mid swing.

However, I knew that it was time for me to be the supportive and understanding wife. Not the wife that is looking at the time. I needed to ignore the fact that it was after my bedtime, although I was beginning to feel the heaviness of good sleep weighing down upon my eyelids. Because unlike him I still had to go to work in the morning.  But I became a big girl and after my miniature mental tantrum I redressed and drove the huz-band to the hospital.

While in the waiting room, he kept telling me to not panic and that he was okay.  Even though I wasn’t panicking. He had just went to the doctor that morning and I knew these doctors weren’t going to give him any new information or a new diagnosis.  I felt as if he hadn’t given the medicine time to work.  I told him all of this before we left the house, but according to him “his lungs were on fire.”

Back in the waiting room, I asked him, “Are you sure it’s not heartburn causing you to feel like your lungs are burning or the side effect from the pills you’ve taken and then a panic attack which caused you to feel like you couldn’t breathe”?  He had told me earlier that he had an antibiotic that would give him heartburn. He has also dealt with panic attacks when he was younger. “No, it’s not that.  I am really struggling breathing right now.  I felt this way last night.”  Again, I notice that he’s saying this, and NOT having problems breathing while saying it.  If he was struggling with his breathing, he would be struggling with speaking.  I had asthma as a child, so I know what it is to struggle with breathing.

At the hospital, he’s given a breathing treatment and he tells the doctors why we’re here. He answers the doctors’ questions about what he has taken, medically, and also what he’s eaten that night.  Their conclusion, “He does have acute bronchitis but his lungs are clear.” Thank God!  They also add, “It seems like you probably just have heartburn from the food you ate and the antibiotic. Your anxiety caused you to feel as if you couldn’t breathe.”

We look at each other and I give him my Grinch smile. When the doctor leaves, I kindly and with all the love I can give my wondrous huz-band, I respond with, “Told ya!  But I’m glad we know for sure and that it isn’t anything worse…I love ya now let’s go home because I’m is sleepy!”

Merry Christmas

Everyone!

 

 

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*In Case you received the unfinished post earlier via email, please read this explanation.*     https://katseyeview.org/2018/12/25/error-exterminate

 

 

Error…Exterminate!!!!!

Hello My Viewers!!!! Earlier today, on this beautiful Christmas Afternoon, a post was sent out prematurely!  I will upload it later on today,  Please disregard the earlier post and have a Merry Christmas Everyone!!!!

Kat from Kat’s Eye View!!!!!

Re-uploaded post:                                                                  https://katseyeview.org/2018/12/25/is-it-bronchitis-or-heartburn

 

 

 

Time to be Selfish

Not wanting to make others uncomfortable is why I have kept my mouth closed.  I hate it, but I continue to put other people’s feelings before mine.  I continue to think of their comfort, so I always swallow what I want to say.  Always waiting for the right time. There’s never going to be a right time.

Christmas is around the corner 🎄✝️🎄✝️! This is the time of year, when people are supposed to look forward to spending time with loved ones right?  Doing all you can to add more memories to your mental scrapbook.  I’m doing my best to add memories, but I also plan on being a little selfish by expressing my truth.

It’s time to be truthful about how some family have treated me and made me feel.  How their actions have left me feeling insignificant, unimportant, less than.  This behavior hasn’t just been aimed at me, but also towards other family members and some friends.  I will, however, be speaking for myself.

It is past the time of getting this off my chest.  To finally have this burden, this weight from the brightest elephant in the room, removed. The discomfort of obvious tension is not something I am looking forward to continuing, especially since we are family.  If there are any misunderstandings, then let’s talk about them.  Let’s come to an understanding.  We can even agree to disagree; but I refuse to go into the new year with this unspoken frustration still floating in my mind.

Not wanting to make others uncomfortable is why I have kept my mouth closed.  I hate it, but I continue to put other people’s feelings before mine.  I continue to think of their comfort, so I always swallow what I want to say.  Always waiting for the right time and not wanting to discuss this very necessary conversation over the phone or on holidays….  It’s never the right time.

The vibe in the room will never fit; but I continue to give chance after chance. Always thinking, it’s not them it’s me.  Maybe I’m the problem and just need to get over it.  Maybe the issue is me.  Maybe they continue to offend because they truly don’t know.

No!!!!

That’s the fear of confrontation talking. That’s the fear of uncomfortable discussion.  The fear of that awkward silence and uncertainty of what happens next.  When finally the confrontation is over and the dammed up streams of emotions are free to be released.

Regardless of the discomfort, this needs to happen.  I’m not the problem!

I. am. not. the. problem!

It is not me!  Other people have seen and understand my frustration. The timing will never be right, but this conversation has to happen.  It’s time to be selfish.

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Finding Beauty PART 1: Lesson from a Cut

Finding Beauty PART 1: Lesson from a Cut
The first week I had my new cut (Teeny Tiny Weeny Afro), was the Thursday before Thanksgiving.  It was cut a little lower than I had preferred and I felt my confidence reach a new low. I thought I resembled a rapper from the 99 and 2000.

I cut my hair again.  This will be the 3rdtime I have “big chopped” my hair and the 2ndtime it was “big chopped” into a TTWA (Teeny Tiny Weeny Afro).  I have allowed my hair to grow in its natural state for the past 4 years.  A hair choice that I made without caring what others thought, until now.

The first week I had my new cut (Teeny Tiny Weeny Afro), was the Thursday before this Thanksgiving.  It was cut a little lower than I had preferred and I felt my confidence reach a new low.  In the last 12 years, I have gained a lot of weight. So much so that I believe I am unrecognizable to those that knew me in high school and college, and when I focus on this physical change I get down on myself. But that’s another blog for another time. Anyway because of the weight gain and the lower than expected cut, I felt like I looked like a man.  More specifically, I thought I resembled the rapper Mannie Fresh.  For those that don’t know who he is, Mannie Fresh was a rapper and DJ brought to prominence by Cash Money Records, back in the 99 and 2000. He used to rap and produce music with Lil’ Wayne when he first came out. My husband laughed with me as I joked to hide my disappointment, but was quick to remind me that he still saw me as the beautiful woman he married. I love how he loves me Flaws and All.

I tried to believe him beyond what I saw reflecting back at me, but when I was at a store, I was almost called Sir!  Yep!  I was confused with being a male.  This happened before when I was a child, but that too is another story.

—-Here’s how it happened this time—-

At the grocery store, a man was coming down the aisle I was on.  He was very focused on finding chips.  He had a flock of little boys along with him, that were getting snacks for a birthday sleepover.  He was walking towards me while continuing to look at the chip section, when he realized that he was about to be in my way.  In a very polite voice he said,” Excuse me sss-ma’am”.  During his back peddling of replacing “sss” with “ma’am”, the damage had already been done.  He had spoken the truth and I heard him.  I looked like a chunky young man.  I don’t desire to look like a man, so this just added more fuel to the burning embers in my hearth of self pity.  Every time I looked in a mirror, I was full of regret and disappointment.  My confidence was no where to be found.  I even tried not to make eye contact with others because of my embarrassment in how I looked.

The next day at a different store in Alabama (we were traveling for Thanksgiving) an older lady asked for my opinion about a hat she was trying on.  I told her what I thought and she agreed.  She mentioned that she actually wanted something more snug.  She then took the hat off and I saw that she was practically bald with some patches of gray hair sticking out wildly.  She explained to me that she had survived cancer twice, and her hair was always being shaved off.  She added that she wanted a hat with a tighter fit, that could protect her head from the cold, and was also stylish.

In that 5 minutes I was quickly brought back to reality.  How dare I continue to base my beauty off of the length of my hair from a choice I made, from a cut I wanted.  I also allowed the thoughts of others become too great in my mind that I felt worthless.  This lady had no choice in the length of her cut because it all had to be removed for reasons out of her hand.  She didn’t care what others thought because she knew there was more to LIFE than hair.

I realized that I needed to shut up and stop complaining about my cut gone wrong and I learned a lesson about beauty and thankfulness.  I can not base my beauty on what the eyes can see.  Yes, I have changed a lot physically since high school and college, but if I was beautiful then I’m still beautiful now.  No matter how much has been added to my weight and no matter the length of my hair.  I am thankful that I am not fighting a battle that could cost me more than some hair.  It’s just hair…mine can grow back.

I am also thankful that I have a husband, that sees me as beautiful even when I don’t.  He sees me the way I need to see myself, Beautiful and Secure in myself no matter what.

“I AM NOT MY HAIR”-India.Arie

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Autumn Glory

I saw a Weir Wood tree.  It was one of the most beautiful trees I had seen in a long time.  I guess it wasn’t really a Weir Wood Tree, but as a fan of the show and series Game of Thrones, of course I would see a tree with red leaves as being a Weir Wood.  The tree that I saw was probably something like an Ash or possibly an Oak.  Okay fine, I don’t know what kind of tree it was.  Whatever the type, it was beautiful.  In the part of Texas I live, the autumn season colors range from light brown to dark brown.   We may see some yellows, but there’s no vibrancy to the colors. It’s like life is suddenly gone without warning.  Green one day brown the next.  The only seasons we get are early Spring, Spring, and Summer.  Which is equivalent to cool, hot, and hotter. The Autumn temperatures can go from 40 degrees Fahrenheit on Monday and by Saturday the temperature is back in the 80s, with “frozen” people  thawing out in their shorts and flip-flops.  It could go from 60 to 88 in a day, sooo….yeah.  Sweaters, scarves, boots, and coats are purchased for fashion and not out of necessity.

Growing up I lived in places where the Four Seasons actually existed.  Not just the hotel, but Winter, Spring, Summer, & Fall.  There was excitement in seeing the the changing leaves of the trees and surrounding landscape.  Where I currently live, the land is flat and flatter, with wet and moist clinging to the air and any hard surfaces. That’s like, so totally boring.  I need to see some hills and tall evergreens to at least have the illusion that there are mountains beyond the horizon.

My huz-band and I recently drove to Atlanta,Georgia which allowed us to drive through Alabama and parts of Georgia.  Have you seen Alabama?  Have you seen Georgia?  Oh My Days!!! So beautiful!  The crisp fall weather with the crunch of leaves under my feet mingled with the scent of someone burning the brush in their backyard; brought with it a bit of nostalgia.

Alabama and Georgia’s rolling hills displayed the majesty of His Glory.  It was like God had taken a paintbrush, just for me, and colored the landscape.  I had been longing for REAL fall weather.  The Wonders of His hand showed the evidence of His attention to detail.  I continue to be in awe at the beauty of nature and how each state is different due to their geographical location. God is not only Good, but He is oh so creative!  How can anyone say the creation of this world just happened by coincidence?  How can anyone say this chaotic yet beautiful world was not thoughtfully made and orchestrated by The ONLY Higher Power?

God answered my prayer of experiencing Autumn this year and I actually saw Geese again!  I still don’t trust Geese, but I got to see them again!

Red & Yellow
Stone Mountain, Georgia, USA 2018

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