Living the Life I Love & Loving the Life I Live

My plan is to begin to find myself again, so that I can begin living the life I love.  I feel as if I have lost sight of who I am and I am now bored with my life.  So much of my life has, and still is centered around the happiness of others.  In recent years, I have been in the midst of discovering who I am as a person.  I have learned so much about why I react the way I do to people, situations, and things.


Dear Diary,

My plan is to begin to find myself again, so that I can begin living the life I love.  I feel as if I have lost sight of who I am and I am now bored with my life.  So much of my life has, and still is centered around the happiness of others.  In recent years, I have been in the midst of discovering who I am as a person.  I have learned so much about why I react the way I do to people, situations, and things.  I am an introvert that is not a fan of crowds or stupidity.  I have embraced that I love all things Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes, and other British mysteries, as well as simplistic comedies like The Office. (These shows are all British, so obviously I need to move…). I enjoy re-watching and rereading the same TV shows and books over and over again.  Thank goodness for Netflix!  Now I need them to add Downton Abbey so that I don’t damage my DVDs of the show.  I need J.K Rowling to continue writing.  I need to find myself being a part of a play, but with teaching taking over my life, that is difficult to become a part of.


There is a Renaissance Fair coming up…I have wanted to go to these for years.  I feel that the attendees are people that are a part of my tribe.  Its lonely feeling out of place, so finding like-minded people is a relief!  I hear they have a lot of fandom stations there now, so i guess it is like a comic-con, with people dressing the part of the fair or their fandoms.  I have always been drawn to people with tattoos, piercings, and funky hair colors.  I realize now that it is because I admire these people for dressing how they want to look.  I have always admired people that don’t care what society says they are supposed to look.  If only I could be truly that brave…in the near future, I plan on being that way.  Teaching isn’t a field that allows me to dye my hair hunter green or purple.  I could get a wig, but unfortunately, with the demographics of where I work that would lead to too many questions that I would have to answer.  I don’t have the energy for that.


I am trying to be in the process of doing what I feel needs to be done, so that I can live the life that I know is truly me.  This includes the outer and inner me.  Doing this will help me to feel like myself once again.  I don’t want to be in my 50s still trying to find myself.  I want to be happy and enjoy my life.  I heard a song on the radio that said, “I love the life I live, and I live the life I love”.  I just gotta stick with it!  Maybe I could record this process.  Journey to Living the Life I Love…starts this weekend!!

Katherine of Dear Diary…

Dear Diary,

Today is finally Wednesday and I am soooooooo tired.


I have been out of school for about 2 weeks due to Hurricane Harvey, but my goodness!  Trying to get back in the swing of teaching is exhausting.  I also work about 45 minutes from my home, so that with trying to be a focused driver in traffic can take a lot out of you.  Dealing with people all day takes a toll.  These situations are mostly mentally draining, but I think that’s the worst type of tiredness.  This causes me to not want to do anything physically.  Lord knows I need to push through that because I needs to get a work out regime going…ASAP!   I can’t give my all to everyone else, but not to myself.  A lot of the time, it feels that in the field of education, the only place a teacher is allowed to have time is in the classroom.  I am unsure if others feel this way about their jobs, but I know that most times I feel like I don’t have time for me or anything outside of school.  Leaving work is always the goal of the day.  If I can just make it through the day, then I know I can make it through the rest of the week.

My favorite day of the week is Thursday, because it is almost Friday.  Wednesdays are encouraging because I can see the light at the end of the road!  Only God helps me make it! Daily, I must encourage myself in Him and like a great father, he does.  This morning was tough.  My being physically tired at the moment caused me to almost give in to my emotions.  Waking up when it feels like you just closed your eyes, is not the bees knees.  Rising and leaving and driving before the sun and birds are up, is burning me out already!  I have always hated waking up early, but it is a necessary sacrifice.  I need to make working out a necessary sacrifice too!  God help me to find the time to squeeze it in.  I can’t do all that you have put in me to do, without the energy.  Help me to find the time.  I know my weight can possibly be adding to feeling drained so much because I’m tired of being tired.  Once I get my routine going, that should help too; but God, also help me to learn to put myself first so that I have the energy to prepare myself for what you have placed in me.


After Hurricane Harvey: Back to School

School begins tomorrow, September 11.  We already had our first day of school on August 21 (The day of the Lunar Eclipse), but that week was cut short by Hurricane Harvey.  Thursday, August 24,  was the last day of school for that week. 

School begins tomorrow, September 11.  We already had our first day of school on August 21 (The day of the Lunar Eclipse), but that week was cut short by Hurricane Harvey.  Thursday, August 24,  was the last day of school for that week.  My family escaped to Dallas that night, but many people in our community and families of the students that I teach decided to stay and “hunker down”.  We left Thursday night.  We didn’t know if the hurricane would be truly devastating as they were mentioning on The Weather Channel, not the local news, but we didn’t want to be around if things were catastrophic.  Thank God for using my Husband and pressing in him the urge to leave, because things did get bad….

In the area where I teach, it is near a subdivision titled Hidden Lakes.  Every time there is a hard rainfall, these “hidden” lakes come out and with this hurricane many people are now thinking about moving.  There is another neighborhood that many of my students live in, that was flooded as well.  This section of housing already had people living there that didn’t have much, so these students probably won’t return to this particular school anytime soon.  They may have gone to live with people or are in shelters that are in a completely different area with higher elevation.  Tomorrow I may be walking into a class, with a completely different group of students.  Many of which will probably not return.

I thank God that even though there is a lake not too far from my backyard, that water didn’t get into my home.  On our back porch, there is a water line that shows how far the water reached.  Praise God!  My mother-in-law’s home was flooded, but thankfully she has Flood Insurance and assistance from FEMA which is going to help take care of a lot of things she lost and repair damage to the house.  She and my sister-in-law have been staying with us, until things are situated.  Unfortunately, hotels in the area are packed, and from what I understand, FEMA is only allowing people to stay in the hotels for about a week.  I don’t understand how helpful that is, but I also don’t know the complete story to that.

My brother-in-law and his wife were trying to evacuate from Hurricane Irma.  They live around Ft. Lauderdale.  Due to lack of gas and the amount of people leaving at the same time, they ended up being stuck in Orlando.  They do have a hotel and hopefully what they say about the lack of traffic movement is true.  He hasn’t been the guy we know that is always ready and on the move concerning hurricanes, since he has moved down there.  He’s been very lackadaisical about Irma….  Last night/Early this morning Irma came ashore….

I feel so bad for all of the people that have lost their things.  Yes, it’s just things, but people cared about those things.  They meant something to them.  Many of those things cannot be replaced.  Pictures, family heirlooms, favorite shirts, computers, homes…these are things that cannot be recovered.  They can be replaced, but not recovered.  These people will only have the memory of having these things….  I hurt for those that lost loved ones.  May God be with you.  I hope that all the money that is being donated to various charities for all of the devastation these hurricanes have brought, will truly be given to the people that are needing help to reconstruct their lives.  People’s livelihoods have been washed away, literally.  I hope that peace and stability is restored to these people as quickly as possible.

Coffee with You

I enjoy my coffee with you.  It is something that I look forward to.  I imagine us growing old together continuing to keep the fire going on our love as we sip on a cup of coffee.  How would you like yours?  Vanilla cream and a little sugar?  Same for me please.  You know how I like it.  I think your coffee is better than Starbucks; it’s cheaper too.  Over coffee we discuss current news within our families and on the television.  We talk about our dreams and goals.  We talk about what makes us happy and what frightens us.  Sipping this coffee allows me to see the side of you others are not able to see.  A side of you that I can have just for me.  Here I don’t have to share you.

Sometimes it feels like you are an octopus with your 8 arms, while me and so many others all have one of your arms.  I am an only child, but I don’t think its selfish of me to want you to wrap all of your arms around only me.  I understand though, even though others choose not to see it.  They don’t care that I am here now in your life and that I am not going anywhere.  You get it, but you have such a big heart.  You don’t want to disappoint everyone and you are getting better at saying no.  But right now, you are mine.  I have you all to myself.  You are focused on me, so I will bask in your arms now until I have to share you with the world, as we drink our cup of coffee.


Day 7:Uniting after the Storm

Let’s continue to learn from each other, let us agree to disagree, but always be there for each other even when there isn’t destruction.  Let’s make the dream a true reality and not a dream deferred.

Soooo, what now?  Southeast Texas in recovery mode.  Dickinson is no longer under water, and people are reaching out to help their brothers and sisters in need as much as they can. Rooms, showers, clothing, and food are being offered to those that have lost their homes… The Dickinson high school football team (Go Gators!!!!) is assisting people with pulling out carpets that can now harvest black mold.  High schools around the nation are representing Dickinson by wearing the D.  It’s great to hear how many cities across America are reaching out through charities like Red Cross.


Hometown celebrities have finally voiced what they’re going to do to bring in aid for all that have suffered, along with other celebrities that were already doing so.  Commercials are advertising with the #HurricaneHarvey to bring awareness to the devastation Harvey left behind.  It seems that peoples of all races, genders, sexual orientation are doing what they can to bring relief.

Question: Why is it that in times of crisis, people decide to lend a helping hand to all?

Question: Why is it that in these horrific times of loss, whether it be life or belongings, people tend to overlook those “important issues” like race?

Question: Could it be because those issues really are stupid and unimportant?

Now, I realize that these are questions that bring with it discussions that many have had, but we need to continue having these conversations until there is no longer a need for them.  I don’t know when that time will come, but it isn’t now.

This morning my husband told me about an African American Patriot from the Houston/Galveston, TX area.  He had a truck with an attached trailer full of supplies he was taking to areas south of Houston to aid those that needed assistance from the storm.  He stayed the night at a hotel, but when he came out the next day he found that his gas had been siphoned, his supplies stolen, and the word Nigger slashed across his truck.  This is a man that I’m sure would have helped them if he knew they needed things.

So that makes me think, “You can call this Patriot a hateful word such as Nigger, but you take his Nigger goods because you are in dire need of all this Nigger has? Idiots  To whomever these evil and desperate people are, hear me loud and clear… You will reap what you sow, but God still loves you.

I get so sick of hearing people blaring online, in the workplace, and in my ear about how they are a Patriot and how America is going to be the way that it once was. I guess that depends on where you lived when America was this awesome place to live in.  How was America for you back in the day?  I’m pretty sure that even after the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s, blacks were still treated differently in the south, than they were in the north.  Even during slavery, black folks were treated better in the north, since slavery was outlawed, but they still weren’t seen as equals.  Black folks have always had to fight. This Patriot was black, but was only seen as a Nigger with necessary goods.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being an American but I don’t always agree with how things are done in America.  Sadly, not everyone can handle this statement.  Everyone is not going to see eye-to-eye with everything they are a part of.  That’s natural and its okay.  Those that don’t understand this sentiment are the types that believe you have to see things from their perspective and if you don’t, your way of thinking is wrong.  These people will always live in a world of frustration because they can only see happiness and tolerance in the way they believe the world and its people should be.


The fact that this Patriot was attempting to make lives great again for his neighbors, but was stolen from and insulted all because he had what those racist jerks didn’t, cannot be overlooked. The events that happened in Charlottesville, Virginia cannot be overlooked.  These are events that have recently happened, even though they parallel the events that took place during the Civil Rights movement.  Have things gotten better for African Americans?  Obviously, but there are those in high places and low places that would see changes not be made or changes be difficult to achieve.  I don’t want to be anyone’s marionette.  I don’t want to have someone string me along making me feel like I’m equal, with them knowing I can only go so far.  People can move on from the past, but if the past keeps knocking on their door what are they supposed to do? As I mentioned before, I am proud to be living in the strongest nation (from what I’m told), but I’m not blind to the reality of this country.  Are there other countries dealing with things that are worse; yes, but my focus is my home.  Gotta get things together here first.

I am in no way trying to make this post be about racism, because there would be so much more to write.  What I am trying to say is that I am happy to see how all are coming together in this time of need regardless of race.  Let’s not allow these actions to end as soon as normality comes back.  We are people and should always be united because we only have each other.  What makes this country great, is how people from all races, genders, creeds can live together.  Let’s continue to learn from each other, let us agree to disagree, but always be there for each other even when there isn’t destruction.  Let’s make the dream a true reality and not a dream deferred.

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