Month: May 2017

A Divine Perspective 03: Thankfulness

We should be thankful for ALL of the great things in our lives and ALL of the “I want to forget” things in our lives.

A Divine Perspective…Looking at Life through a Heavenly View

What are you thankful for?  Being thankful isn’t something we should only reserve until Thanksgiving Day, Christmas, or a Birthday, or when we feel we are at a good point in our lives.  We should be thankful for ALL that we have and all we don’t have.  We should be thankful for ALL of the great things in our lives and ALL of the “I want to forget” things in our lives.  Thank God for ALL the doors that have been closed and ALL of the relationships that didn’t work out.  Be thankful for that job you hate because God is allowing that to be a blessing for you.  Think about where your life could be, and be Thankful.

We may not always understand why hardships or hurt and pain have entered our lives until we are older and we may never know.  We must become content in understanding that God always has his best in store for us.  Even when we cry out to him “Why God why?!?!”.  “For he knows the plans he has for us” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV), and remember the author doesn’t need to discuss the plot with the characters, they just have to go through whatever the author has written for that character.  While you are going through it, give thanks with a grateful heart.

Psalm 100 (NIV)  A psalm. For giving grateful praise.                                                                                    1 Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.  2 Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.  3 Know that the Lord is God.  It is he who made us, and we are his we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.  4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.  5 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

 

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The Sacrifice of Sharing

Earlier this month, I read an article of a mom allowing her child to have the choice of sharing or not sharing his toys with others. She and her son were walking to a playground with a few of his new toys.  Many little boys on the playground ran up to him asking him if they could see his toys.  The mother noticing that this was becoming overwhelming to her son, you know being pressured to share his things with complete strangers, the mother told her son that he could say no if he wanted to.  Many of the children were surprised by what she said and tattled to their parents.  These parents then began to give Alanya Kolberg and her son Carson mean looks.

Two questions came to my mind. 1. Why the mean looks from the parents and their children?   2. Why is this little boy expected to share his things with people, regardless if he knows them or not?

I think Ms. Kolberg is brilliant!  I sometimes wonder if parents feel obligated to have their kids share because that’s what expected and it’s the “nice thing” to do.  But what about when the sharing goes bad?

I grew up an only child so I didn’t have anyone to share my things with.  So yes sharing was hard for me, but I also had a soft spot for people that didn’t have a lot of the nice things I was fortunate to have.  Did I get everything I wanted because I was an only child, No…but my parents blessed me with many of the toys I wanted as a reward for being an obedient child.  We lived oversees in a country called Belgium, and there were toys there that weren’t always provided in the states.  Many of my favorite toys were found in Belgium.  I remember two of them in particular.

My Heather Doll, which I later found out was sold in the states, was one of the best dolls ever.  She had 3 ways of being a baby.  She could behave like a newborn, a 1 year old, and a 3 year old.  There was a switch you could use so that she would behave in whatever age you choose for her.  She would cry and coo more as a newborn, cry and laugh and try to talk as a 1 year old, and would say words as a 3-year-old.  She   was   GREAT!!!!  None of my other friends had a doll like her.  One day I took her over a friend’s house, and of course I had to share.  I didn’t mind sharing because I wanted my friend to see my cool new doll.  My friend however didn’t see her as the most precious possession I had, so in an attempt to get her to stop crying this girl shook my doll so hard she broke Heather’s neck.  Her head was no longer securely attached to her neck.  She still worked, but her pretty little head hung to the side.

My Purple Light Up Phone…This phone was like a walkie talkie but designed to look like a rotary phone.  My parents would have one of the phones in the living room with them and I would have the other one in my room.  When I would pick the phone up, the other phone would light up and ring, so that person would know they are receiving a call.  We could actually talk to each other!  It   was   so   cool!!!!  Well one day, a family from our church was coming over.  This couple had about a dozen kids, okay so it was only 4, but my God.  The wildness of these children made it seem like there were more of them.  I tried to stay far from them when we were at church because they always got into trouble and were so loud.  I had already told my mom that I was nervous about them playing with my toys, so we put my “good” toys away.  That didn’t work because somehow, they found my good toys, which included my phones, and next thing I know, the receiver on the phones were broken.  From then on, I decided that sharing is not always caring.

I learned that sometimes sharing is a sacrifice that can bring loss to the sharer. 

Sharing is sometimes caring if I have many of the same things to share with others.  This way sharing isn’t a sacrifice.    All those times those kids broke my toys.  They didn’t care, but I was the one left crying, upset, and bitter over my irreplaceable toy. Why did I have to share my precious valuables with you, especially when they didn’t have the same love for the toys as I did, no matter how cool they thought the toy was.  It wasn’t a loss for them.  And yes I am still a bit bitter…okay maybe a lot.

Even now, when going out to dinner with another couple is it mandatory to allow the other couple or your mate to try your food?  I mean, they ordered their food and you ordered your food.  Is it an expectation to ask them if they would like to try my food?  Is that the polite thing to do?  I just want to know…. Depending on how much I have, I don’t mind, but is it mandatory of dining out?  If I still have food or drink in the refrigerator does that now mean that I am obligated to give you my food that I am not in a rush to enjoy, just because you enjoyed yours faster than me and now want more?  The Devil!  I’ve had some bad experiences with this thing called sharing, so I agree with what Alanya Kolberg told her son, and believe sharing should be your choice.

Check out the link below to read the entire story on Alanya Kolberg & her son Carson:

http://www.rd.com/advice/parenting/mom-teaches-son-not-to-share/

picture used from dailyphotowall.net

Home Sweet Chicago

There is no place like Chicago.  Who needs New York, when you have Chicago?  I have always been excited about coming to Chicago, which is something I’ve done for all my life.  I was born there, but didn’t have the privilege of growing up there.  I have often wondered how different I might be if I had.

Chicago is full of history, culture, and unforgettable landmarks.  Chicago is a photographer’s dream.  The beauty of the Art Deco is still alive in certain places downtown.  There is so much to do and never enough time to do it in.  There is so much to eat and again, never enough time to allow your taste buds to sing and dance as they are coated with the various flavors and peoples that bring this great city alive!  For me, there is no better city to be a part of.  I have such a deep love and infatuation with this city because this is also where my family is.

It’s a bonus that my family lives there.  I look forward to allowing my children to spend summers in Chicago as I did.  Where my daughters can learn to double-dutch, sons can learn style and how to be an individual, and they can all experience summertime in the Chi.  Opened fire hydrants, that spray the children with cooling water while in their swimsuits, as uncles stay back and patiently wait for the water to go back down to wash their Cadillacs in the remaining water that is now slowly pouring out into the street.

I look forward to seeing them play in the snow and beg desperately to come inside because “The Hawk” has whipped past their faces one time too many.  I can’t wait for them to enjoy Jay’s chips, Italian Beef sandwiches, Penny cookies, and Penny Candies, corner stores, and Deep Dish Pizzas.  Going to the Taste of Chicago during the 4th of July and seeing their awesome display of fireworks.  Going to the Shedd Aquarium, Museum of Natural History & Science, the Planetarium, the Navy Pier, Soldier Field, Wrigley Field or not even having a desire to go downtown because there is so much fun to be had with their cousins at home! There is no place like Chicago.

Chicago means beautiful memories with me and my cousins, aunts, and uncles,…and how even though the loss of a loved one is dreadful, we are still able to smile because we all still have each other.  As I mentioned, I wasn’t raised in this great city, but I believe that helps me to appreciate this city even more.  Chicago is my home away from home.  Chicago is my family. Chicago will forever be my favorite city!

A Divine Perspective 02: Making your Parents Proud

*A Divine Perspective…Looking at Life through a Heavenly View*

“Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her who gave birth to you rejoice [in your wise and Godly choices].”Proverbs 23:25 NIV

Before we are born, our parents are proud of us.  The choices we make in life allows them to continue to be proud, or to hold their head down in shame.  So many times you see on the news how parents are baffled at whatever horrendous act their child has committed; but parents that truly pay attention to their children, know their children, and are aware of the things their child is capable of doing. Often the tears are more of a response to the embarrassment this child has brought to the family, for behavior that has now been brought to light.  The choices you make do not only affect you, but your family, and especially your parents.

Make wise choices.  Make choices that you can speak freely about because there are no wrong doings involved.  People sadly will most often choose to remember the mistakes you made instead of the wise decision(s) you made.  Continue to make your parents proud for you, for you are a reflection of them.

Happy Mommy’s Day!!!

Your Smile

KATIE,

You are the woman that did everything you could to bring me joy.  I remember as a little girl, you trying to sweetly wake me up singing “Arise and Shine and give God the Glory Glory…” while opening the curtains to my window so that God’s Light could shine through.  Oh, the TORTURE of it all!  I remember you teaching me how to make the bed, fold sheets, and clothes as we conversed about whatever was on my 4-year-old mind.

I remember going to the library with you and being so excited about checking out as many books as I could, especially for the Summer Reading Programs.  I remember you allowing me to watch Annie as much as I could because I wanted to be black Annie, in 1987, in my imagination.  I remember you checking out vinyl records that you would take to record the songs from them so I could sing to them on my Fisher Price Cassette Tape Player in my room.  I remember how you connected the string to the light switch so that I could turn on the light from my bed, and no longer be afraid that something would grab me under the bed at night time.  You were my first date.  We went out every Friday and you introduced me to Cherry Coke.

You taught me my first Easter speech, that you had written.  We dyed Easter Eggs together, while daddy ate most of them. You took me to my first Cafés when we lived in Belgium and when we would travel to Paris, France.  You would allow me a taste of your cappachinos and as I pretended to drink what you had, even though it was Hot Cocoa.  You taught me the difference between eau de perfume and eau de toilette.  You taught me dinner table etiquette, like how to place my knife on the edge of my plate.  You taught me how to vacuum using “elbow grease” and recorded me saying silly things like “I love washing dishes mommy”.  Sadly, you replayed this recording and I soon learned how quickly one’s opinion can change.  You introduced me to so much, Nat King Cole, Nancy Wilson, My Fair Lady, Stormy Weather, Chaka Khan, Stevie Wonder, Santa Claus, the love of God, being proud to be me, and so much more!

You taught me that boys are fickle, when I experienced my first 7th grade heartbreak.  You taught me that even though a man may say he is a minister, he is still a man, and after 1 thing.  You taught me the importance of wearing a slip and dressing with decency.  You showed me that using God’s Light helps you to see how your make up really looks and how it can be used to check if under garments could be seen through your clothes.  You taught me what to look for in a man and to never settle for anyone.

You have the most beautiful smile I ever seen and wanted.  Your smile lights up any room you enter.  I love your smile and I love you…FOREVER!  Nothing can take this love away!  I gave you the nickname Ladybug not knowing that they symbolize luck.  Well, you have been more than a good luck charm to me, you have been a blessing!

God made you different for a reason.  If you weren’t the way that you are, I wouldn’t be who I am today. You continue to teach me and expose me to many things, that others look at as unnecessary.  I stand out from the crowd because of you even when I struggle to blend in.  There is a reason you opened your world to me and there is a reason I accepted it.  Thank you for helping me to be me.

 I hope you have an awesome Mother’s Day!

-Love Baby Bug

Thank You with a Twist

This morning I woke up to a text message from a co-worker.  Sadly this isn’t anything new.  However, I was surprised to see which co-worker it was from.  It was from the co-worker whose daughter I had taught.  They are the mother/daughter duo that caused me most of my stress and frustration from last year.  If you don’t know what I mean, please check out my post titled Dear Diary Explained.

In the text message “She” was telling me that her daughter planned on using the test taking strategies that I had taught her last year on the state test she had today.  She then went on to express how I am making a huge impact on the students of our school.  Reading this left me amazed, because all I could think of was the hell that she and her daughter put me through last year.  Not only did I have to deal with these two, but this was also my first year at this school which, by the way, was nothing like what I was used to.  This school is like the Disney Channel. I was more familiar with MTV.  I was also the only African American teacher at a school that I can strongly say is about 98% Caucasian (teachers and students).  I was used to being a part of a school that represented more of how America truly looks.  Although most of the teachers did their best to make me feel a part, I still had moments where I felt alone and in the spotlight, all at the same time.  Dealing with these changes of familiarity, one of the last things I needed was a co-worker that I worked with every day, to go behind my back complaining about me, all the while smiling and appearing to be the cheerleader for students and teachers alike.

Setting: Today, at school before the bell rang, “She” came into my room with that smile she always gives when she is overflowing with unicorns, bubbles, hearts, and rainbows.

She: (hugs me) Thank you for being an inspiration to our students.  Did you get my text?

Me: Thank you for that and yeah, but I am surprised that you would be thanking me.

She: Well, you have been great with our students and I appreciate what you did for my daughter.

Me: I’m surprised because you really put me through a lot last year with your daughter misinterpreting what I would say in class and writing it down on sticky notes to give you and then you going to the principal about it…. Last year was really rough for me.

She: (voice cracking) I’m just telling you what [my daughter] said.

Me: Yes, but instead of you coming to me, you went to the principal (interruption)

She: (with an uncomfortable smile) I came and talked to you about it (interruption)

Me: After you met with the principal, but I am happy that somewhere in all of that, your daughter was able to learn something that she wants to use instead of what her current teacher has taught her this year, so Thank you.

She: (leaves my room as her Unicorns have now turned into wildly running dark horses, the bubbles have all burst, the hearts have been shattered, and the rainbows have evaporated)

Me: (smiling and feeling relieved and proud of myself)

I didn’t expect this to happen today, but I believe that it was finally time for me to let her know how she and her daughter made me feel. I wasn’t loud or disrespectful because what is the point in that.  I kept my tone and voice level very calm.  Since last year I have maintained my professionalism to her and her daughter.  I even prayed for her when she was dealing with some personal things.  I prayed on the spot for her that God would be with her and comfort her in her time of frustration.  She and her daughter didn’t realize they hurt me, but I also don’t think she knew that I had figured out it was her that was going to the principal to “tattle” on me.  The principal would only tell me a parent came to her.  My detective shows really helped me figure this out last year.  I saw her later in the day and there was a continuation of no words from her. She still carried her frown and I still said hello.  I know that she didn’t expect that conversation to turn out the way that it did, but it would have been a disservice to myself, if I hadn’t been honest about my feelings.  I will continue to be a professional with her, but yea ME!!!

http://deardiary.biz/2017/03/11/deardiaryexplained

picture from memegenerator.com

Blue Water

 

I remember when I fell in love with Blue Water.  It was my first time in the Bahamas.  The water was so captivating and amazing.  I had never seen natural blue water.  There were various shades of blue; Aquamarine, Turquoise, Blue, Cobalt, and finally Navy.  Such PURE beauty.  A beautiful mosaic of blue water.  I remember sitting under a canopy on the beach and allowing the waves to lull me to sleep.  Sitting on the beach with my husband, holding hands, watching the sun set, and talking about our dreams and goals individually and together.

There is beauty and fierceness in the waves of rushing waters.

It helps to calm me when I feel overwhelmed.  It’s like my energy is recharged.  I am renewed by the waves rushing against the shore or the cruise ship.  The sound made is hypnotic to me and puts me at ease…comforting me from whatever may be overwhelming me. It is energy in its purist form, with the power to cleanse you spiritually and physically.

*This picture was taken on my recent cruise, as the waves were pushed away from the gliding ship. March 2017

A Divine Perspective 01: For God so Loved the World…

A Divine Perspective—Looking at Life through a Heavenly View

Jesus was not sent to the world to judge you, but to love you.  His love is what is needed to help fulfill your emptiness.  His love is what is needed to Save the world.    Even when you believe no one does or can love you, He does and ALWAYS will.

“For God so loved, the WORLD, that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in HIM shall not perish, but have eternal life.  For God did not send HIS son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through HIM.”            John 3:16-17 NIV

 

Little Drummer Boy

Finally, May is here.  With that means the end of the school year and schools around the country are preparing for their annual talent show.  This year I have decided to once again assist with this “delightful” program.  In order to participate in the Talent Show, students were expected to complete an application that explained their “talent”.  They would then go through an audition to be judged on said “talent”.  They will then be judged and scored to determine whether they may the cut to be a part of the Talent Show.

Now comes the time when you have parents that can be too involved.  Sometimes these parents can be overboard with their excitement for their child’s entertainment dreams to come true even though no one is getting paid and there is no winning placement.  It’s just students displaying what they believe to be a “talent”.  These parents were emailing me about the talent show, when applications were just starting to be given out.  These are the parents that come to school 30 minutes before dismissal to help their child with their costume and hair, for the after school auditions.  These will be the parents that will angrily email me because their child didn’t make it past auditions.

The other end of the spectrum are the parents that are just as clueless as their children.  They don’t show any interest in their child participating in a talent show.  They don’t know the requirements, nor do they explain to their child what is expected.  It’s more of a hassle to them that their child made it in the talent show.  One student, lets call him Sherman, has one of these parents.

The other day Sherman was going to audition to play drums in the talent show.  He had his drumsticks all nicely taped and was ready for his audition.  It was requested in the application, that students that were playing instruments were required to bring that instrument to the school, unless it was a piano, since our school has one of those.  So as another teacher, let’s call her Mrs. Bring It (inside joke), and I were assisting students, Sherman asked me where he was supposed to go wait for his audition.

As the both of us were pointing to the room, Mrs. Bring It asks Sherman, “Do you have your drums?”

He replied, “No.”

She asks, “Is your mom going to bring them?”

He says, “No.”

I then ask, “Will you have them the day of the talent show?”

He says, “I don’t have any drums.”

Mrs. Bring It walks away “to assist the other students waiting to audition”.

My face is of course is showing its confusion because I am looking at the drumsticks he has in his hands.  Since he is also my actual student, I continue asking him more questions, so that one of us can gain some clarity.

I then ask, “So Sherman, how were you going to play drums in the talent show?”

He stares at me.

“Sweetheart, how were you going to audition to play drums if you don’t have any drums?”

He continues to stare and then says, “Ohhhhhh.”

“Sherman, if you are going to play the drums for the talent show, you have to have drums to play.  Please go call your mother and tell her to come pick you up because you can’t audition for the talent show if you have no drums to play.”

He respectfully replied, “Yes ma’am!”

I’m thinking to myself, now why didn’t his mother explain this to him, and then I remember how she was at our recent field trip, which then helped me to answer my own question.  Well, at least Sherman is respectable.

Burning Bridges

“People burn their bridges until they realize they are stranded…then it is too late.”

-Anonymous

The past can not always be left in the past.  Sometimes it sneaks its shriveled up head in the most unexpected places or at the most unexpected of times.  These memories reveal the scars that have been healed behind the bandages of time.  Lessons learned about the motives of others that were once called friends.

Picture it…Friday Night, 2017…a few college friends sitting around discussing our college days.  We were pretty much all a part of the same crowd, so we were all familiar with names and events of those that were being brought up in the conversations.  Some things were known and some were just now coming to light.  A few names that were continuously brought up had done a lot of bridge burning then and even recently.

How sad it is when the negative you do outshines the positive.  Disrespect, in the name of the Lord, will definitely not go unnoticed or unjudged by Him.  Some of those very people are to this day, taking advantage of God’s people for their own profitable gain and calling themselves prophets.  They tore others down, so that their name might flourish.  They hurt others, so that the lies they told wouldn’t be found out.  Some of us found this out about them through hurt and some found this out because of God’s revelation.

Many of them are only out for themselves, so they did and are continuing to live in that life.  I feel bad for their wives, whom they have deceived using that same slithery tongue of lies, that they use on their audiences today.  I feel sorry for their children because they are unaware of the no respect their parents receive.  I feel sorry for them because they think people have forgotten the hurt that they caused.  Hurt can be forgiven but can it truly be forgotten?  I can forgive you, but I am no longer able to trust you to not be anyone other than yourself.  I will say that because of these experiences with these people, we all learned that when someone shows you who they really are…believe them.

Maybe it’s a good thing they burned these bridges… for our safety.

Photo from advicemag.com

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