Month: November 2017

Moving for Love

Moving to an new city, can be a daunting experience.  The presence of Alone, is all around You.  Trying to learn this new place…trying to learn a new culture is, scary.  Even if you have moved because of Love.

Moving to an new city, can be a daunting experience.  The presence of Alone, is all around You.  Trying to learn this new place…trying to learn a new culture is, scary.  Even if you have moved because of Love.  As Deborah Cox said, “Love can make you do some crazy things”, but You thought it was just a song.  You didn’t realize how much you would be missing.

You are leaving what is familiar to you, to begin a new journey with the one you Love.  You are starting over, but still expected to blend in.  Families don’t often times try to understand how You, the new member, feels.  They continue on as if nothing is new and You are expected to just go with the flow.  To adapt to how things have always been, without a second thought of how You feel about it.  Yes, it is unfair.  It is unfair to not be considered in plans.  It is unfair to be remembered in plannings as an afterthought.  It is unfair when the times You attempt to bring the family into things you’re interested in, there is no submission.

You must always give, but there is no give and take.  You are the one giving and the one missing.  You miss your home, your city.  You miss your family and friends.  You miss out on watching your younger siblings and/or cousins grow up.  You continue to miss out on the life of your blood.  Not being able to be there with your parents as they grow older.  Not being able to assist them with their aches and pains of growing older, but being able to be there for your Love’s.

Time goes on, and You keep the bitterness of it all inside.  To keep the peace, your anger and screams remain bottled up. Your true frustrations continue to boil within as you quietly cry over not feeling appreciated.  Silently crying over feeling like your sacrifice of moving for Love, has never been acknowledged by your new family. You begin to  desire to leave and never return.  To go somewhere neutral so that Love’s side can understand what it is like to be missing.  Besides, You never gave your heart to this new place, now matter how much time has passed.  Without a second look back, You just moved for Love.

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Featured Image from GR0WING.COM, post Moving Made Easy by Jane Brown.

 

A Divine Perspective 09: Get Out!

Sometimes people don’t know what they want to really do with their life until life after college/university.

Life has many things that can make one go from a high, to a quick low.  One cause may be returning to work after an enjoyable and relaxing vacation.  Praying and positive thinking does help, but it can still be trying when you just don’t look forward to your job that you are obligated to return to.  You soon begin to feel trapped and looking for a way out.

Many people are not happy with their job or career choice, but they stay with it because it helps to pay the bills.  Older generations do not understand why Millennials or Pre-Millennials (Generation Y) have a hard time with this concept of working at a place that brings misery, but still pays the bills. Having to go day after day to a place that brings no happiness or enthusiasm to your life is simply torturous; especially if this lifestyle has become a continuous cycle.  Younger generations want to look forward to their daily jobs or whatever career choice they went to college for.  *Sometimes people don’t know what they want to really do with their life until life after college/university.*  Start now at working on being able to Get OUT!

Begin to look to your talents to help you reach the escape you are seeking.  What God given gifts or talents do you have that bring you joy? These gifts could eventually help you to pay those same bills and allow work to no longer be a tormenting chore.   Your job becomes enjoyment that you are now making money from.  Continuing to do something that brings you grief is not a healthy way to live one’s life.  You’ve got to find out what makes you happy.  If it doesn’t bring you or anyone else harm, do what you love to do.  That’s the gift that God has given you.

Get OUT & Do What YOU Love

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Please Click to read“Follow Your Dreams” for more encouragement to do what’s inside of you!

Now that my Belly is Full…

Welp, now that my belly is full and my feet are no longer tired…Thanksgiving 2017 was pretty awesome. We had a few friends come over, watched a horrible game of American Football, watched kids play videogames, and talked about memories of parents calling us from downstairs to come upstairs to pass them remote controllers that would have been faster to get than the time it took us to actually come all the way up the stairs to give it to them. 

Welp, now that my belly is full and my feet are no longer tired…Thanksgiving 2017 was pretty awesome!  I am super proud of myself.  I was finished preparing everything by 12:39 p.m.  See, I come from a family that doesn’t eat Thanksgiving Lunch, we have Thanksgiving Dinner, so eating around 6:30-7:00 is no big deal.  I don’t know what I did differently to bring about this early dining time, but I can say it was refreshing.  I actually was able to chill out after cooking and wasn’t too tired to clean the kitchen after we had finished eating.  Thank the Lord I have a great husband that doesn’t mind assisting me with the cleanup.

We dined on Smoked Turkey, Ham, Baked Chicken, Dressing, Homemade Macaroni and Cheese, Greens, 6-Layer Salad, Yams, Mashed Potatoes, Broccoli & Cheese Casserole, & Yeast Rolls.  Dessert consisted of a Yellow Bundt Cake with Melted Chocolate icing drizzled a top with Festive Harvest Sprinkles of Yellow Orange and Red.  German Chocolate Cake, Pound Cake, 2 Sweet Potato Pies, & Peach Cobbler.  Everything was made from Scratch, nothing was store bought!!

We had a few friends come over, watched a horrible game of American Football, watched kids play videogames, and talked about memories of parents calling us from downstairs to come upstairs to pass them remote controllers that would have been faster to get than the time it took us to actually come all the way up the stairs to give it to them.  We didn’t say what we were grateful for, but internally we all knew.

In that moment, we were thankful for each other.  For being able to come together and be an inspiration to one another.  We were thankful for having loads of food to eat, and a warm and comfortable place to lounge about.  We were thankful for each other’s company, and being able to relate to one another.  We all came from different states in America, and all had different upbringings, but we all had experienced the task of fetching a remote for a parent.

I don’t get into everything concerning the pilgrims and all that happened on their tumultuous journey from England, because I think of how this began the downfall of many great Native Americans tribes and the appointment of Manifest Destiny…, but I do take the time to think about all that God has done for me.

*“Life for me ain’t be no crystal stair” these last 35 years, but I am so thankful that God has protected me from a lot worse.  He has shown me that he is faithful even in times of doubt.  He has shown me that I can handle a lot more than I think, but all because of his Grace and Mercy.  I am thankful for life and what God has allowed to happen and opportunities that he kept me from.  I am thankful for the parents I have because I wouldn’t be who I am if it were not for God allowing a West Side Chicago Girl and a small-town Mississippi Boy to enter the military and meet in South Korea.

I am grateful for this blog and the many people that read and are encouraged by my words.  It is an outlet for me to be able to be my true self.  I am even grateful for my job, because it surely has taught and teaches me a lot about myself.  I am grateful for my puppies because they keep me on my toes, bring a smile to my face, laughter in my home, & make me excited about becoming a mommy.  I am so thankful for my Huz-Band because he continues to look beyond my faults and see the beauty in me that I may not always see in myself, within or without. My huz-band is beyond what words can say…. Also, because of him I finally have siblings which I am grateful for, even Beefy  J!  I am grateful for my family, the Leggette-Youngs & the Martin-Moneyhams, and my married family the Bradley-Caldwells.  I am thankful for Danielle!

I am thankful & I am grateful!  Thank you God for giving us this day our Daily Bread for it is because of you, that we have it, Amen!

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Thanksgiving 2017
Thanksgiving 2017

*Line from the poem Mother to Son by Langston Hughes

BLUE Is Not a BOY Color

Remember back in elementary school, when it was important to follow the rules of gender or your classmates?  As a little girl in the 1st grade, I definitely felt this way. Not in everything, but in some things.

I can remember during this time, realizing that I liked the color blue.  I was told that girls were supposed to like red, pink, or purple and boys could like blue, green, or black.  So, to not be accused of being a boy, I decided that I would choose the color red as my favorite color. Don’t get me wrong, I did not see myself as a boy, nor did I want to be a boy.  I was very much happy being a girl, but I didn’t want to be accused of being a boy.  This could lead to the devastation of being teased and losing friends.  Even though the strength of the color blue brought me satisfaction, doing what was expected of me was more important. 

I believed I had to change myself for the comfort of others. 

I hated this new choice.  I dealt with it internally, for about a day, but it was a big deal for me.  I remember feeling like I had just let myself down.  I no longer felt comfortable in my own skin.  I felt the heavy burden of having lied to someone, and that someone was me.

The next day at school, when we were again either discussing favorite colors or choosing colors to use, I proudly professed my love for the color blue.  I declared to my class that I didn’t care what they thought about me; my favorite color was blue!  This was one of the 1st times in my young life, that I had to let someone know that I was going to be happy and proud of the choice I had made, regardless of what anyone else thought of me.  Loving blue made me comfortable with myself, even if it was considered a boy color.  

I say all of this to ask this question: What Choice are You Making because of Other People’s Expectations of You?  Does it bring you happiness or peace?  Does it allow you to be your true self?  

If any of your answers are no, it’s time to realize that you have to stop living to make other people satisfied.  

If it’s not going to bring physical pain to you, your friends, or family, do what is true to you!  Do what you know you are supposed to be doing!

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To my Subscribers…

Thank you to all of my subscribers!  I really appreciate you for taking the time to read my posts on Dear Diary….  Your support is very encouraging.  You accept me for me & I thank you!  I can continue to be my true self!  I hope to continue to write posts that encourage and uplift you.  I hope to continue to write posts that bring conversation and a new outlook into another person’s mind.  Thank you for liking, commenting, and sharing what you read!  Again, Thank you!

giphy-2

The Honesty of Words

Words are important.  They are powerful enough to bring a novel to life and resonate good vibes to your soul through music.  There is an honesty with words that can bring joy and pain.  This honesty can praise and they can damn.  Growing up you may have heard the saying “Think before you speak”, “Watch what you say”, or “If you can’t say nothing nice, then don’t say nothing at all”.  Some people, like myself, often say what we think or feel, but it doesn’t always come out the way we practiced saying it in our heads.  The words don’t come out sounding the way we intended them to sound.  Those like us have been told that we don’t have tact.

I struggled with the honesty of words in college.  People thought I was seeking attention or being tactless without care.  It was actually because I was nervous and could not figure out how to say what I needed to say, so I would just let it out.  This honesty caused offense and brought about the awkward silence that let me know, “Dang it!  I did it again”.

Due to the continuous offending of others, I tend (believe it or not) to not say anything because of looking out for the feelings of others.  I’m not trying to offend, so I’ll just keep silent because I can’t figure out how to say “it” with hurting someone’s feelings.  This isn’t the best self-saving method, so I am working on this.  I do realize that every feeling or thought doesn’t need to be said, but I also cannot continue living in fear of offending others when others continue to offend me seemingly without a care.  Remaining silent and allowing others to offend me because I am looking out for their sensitivity, is not healthy for me. It may seem that I have a hard-shell, but like a blue M&M there is softness inside.

I intend on trying Michael Jackson’s method of adding “with love” on the end of my statement, hoping that whomever I am talking to knows my heart. Hopefully this helps, because I refuse to wait until I become a grandmother to speak my mind, and I don’t want your offense to become an issue for me…especially when I’m speaking up for myself and my feelings.

I want to use the honesty of words to build others up when they have been knocked down.  I want to use the honesty of  words to speak life over myself and the lives of others.  I want to use the honesty of words to speak truth as well as my own truth.  

imimim-just-being-honest

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A Divine Perspective 08: Give IT a Try

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you & not to harm you.  Plans to give you a hope & a future.-Jeremiah 29:11

Trust and Believe that God has everything lined up for your good.  It’s hard to see what he has for us with these human eyes.  We must walk by faith and not by sight. If we seek after him and keep our minds on him it will become easier to believe that He truly is doing something for your good.

What does all of this mean?

It means to Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not unto your own understanding.  In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. Proverbs 3:5-6

Easier said than done, you say?  Well, give it a try?  What have you got to lose?  You’ve tried everything else. Why not try these instructional guide lines from the Bible?

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JUST DO IT!

Just do it!  Stop worrying about what others might say.  Are you planning to do anything that’s going to hurt you or anybody else? No?  So just go for it!  There are so many things in life that cause people to not go after their dreams.  What’s stopping you?  What’s getting in the way?  What are you allowing to hold you back?  What excuse are you using this time?  Is it age? Is it a lack of money?  Is it a lack of opportunity? Is it that you are waiting on God?

Okay, I get it.  You’ve been praying and asking and waiting for God to open that door; but what are you doing in the process?  Are you waiting by faith or walking by faith? Walking and Waiting are both actions.  They are both something that can be done. But to get the results you are believing for, you need to do BOTH.  You can’t just rely on one without the other.  You can’t walk without the expectation of reaching a destination; you can’t just wait without an expectation of something happening.  Why else would you walk?  Why else would you wait?  You must walk and wait.  They go hand in hand.  Faith without works is dead.  Point. Blank. Period.  I can sit and pray that God opens a door for me to get a job, but if I don’t get off my roody-poo and “walk” by applying for a job, I shouldn’t “wait” with the expectation that a job will hire me.

You can “wait” in the midst of your “walking”, but eventually you gotta just do it! You’ve got to want it so bad, that you won’t allow anything to hold you back.  You can say that you want to lose weight, but if you don’t begin to act on that by doing what it takes, you’ll probably begin to gain more weight because you’re just sitting around saying what you want to do while still eating whatever comes your way.  You can not just wait for things to happen. When you begin to do what needs to be done (Walking), you can then Wait with the expectation that something will happen.

During this time of walking and waiting, don’t allow doubt to sneak in.  You may not see instantaneous results, but that doesn’t mean your goals won’t come into fruition.  You must also change your mind set so that you believe in what God has put in YOU.  I hate to sound clichéd, but Beyoncé didn’t just happen overnight.  Her daddy knew what he was doing.  It took years for Beyoncé to get over being shy and feeling like she needed a group, to believe that she could do it on her own, and become the dynamic solo entertainer that she is today.

Yes, she has always had people who believed in her, and you might be saying that you don’t.  Okay…are you going to allow that to stop you? If you don’t believe in yourself, who will.  How do you know your “Daddy”, doesn’t know what he’s doing? Don’t allow what the naysayers say, to be proven true by not fulfilling your destiny. * I apologize for the Destiny’s Child reference while mentioning Beyoncé…it wasn’t planned. *  What I am trying to say is, you have to do what you believe you should do, and not concern yourself with what others think about it.  Keep in mind that it’s not your business to know what others say or think about you.  There is nothing you can do to control that anyway.  It’s a waste of time and energy, which you could be putting into what you can control which is working to achieving your dreams.

Remember that sitting (waiting) for too long can give you sores.  Get up and just do It!  Whatever “It” may be.  It may not be any easy road, but just take that first step.  Only God knows where that step of faith will take you. Just do it!

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

Dear Diary,

I am currently at a workshop for my job, and in front of my seat at the table was a flyer that says to “follow your dreams”.  It was meant as encouragement for the faculty, but for many of us, this job is no longer a part of the dream we want to follow.  For me, this sweet little encouragement allows my mind to begin to wander and think about the things that I actually want to do.  I want to be in my home office, or at a park, or at a hippy coffee shop writing for my blog, or even on the many book ideas I have floating around in my head.  There are so many other things I want to do creatively instead of having to encourage others to embrace their creativity.

It is so challenging, just to be present right now.  At the moment, we are supposed to be discussing our goals, but my table is talking about things that really matter in our lives and important issues going on in the world like: Will and Grace, Once Upon a Time, Stranger Things (I was feeling as if I was in the Upside Down), and recalling the 90s when cell phones were not a necessity.  To paraphrase the infamous words of former Seattle Seahawks player and current Oakland Raiders player, Marshawn Lynch, “We are all here so we don’t get fined”.  This day is one of our contractual days and we are expected to enjoy being life-long learners right now.  I don’t mind being a life-long learner with topics that are interesting to me. (Lord of the Rings lore, Game of Thrones lore, Harry Potter background info, make-up tutorials, natural hair tutorials, biblical history, why God truly is Good even in the midst of it looking as if He’s not in control, and soooo much more.)

The holidays are coming (which is totally awesome), so half of the year is kinda-almost over.  I am so trying to take this one day at a time, so as to not get overwhelmed, but when your career wants you to be thinking about goals for the year and what can be done to help you reach that goal, you have no choice but to begin thinking about more than just 1 day at a time.

I don’t know if other people in other careers feel this way, but this 10th year that I am in has had me to reevaluate a few things.  So many people go to jobs they don’t care for because that is the only option they have to gain money for survival.  We all work to survive, I get it.  It just seems more enjoyable to “work” at what you like…celebrities do it all the time.