Tag: Relationships

Divorce is NOT an Option

It was April 1992 when my parents finalized their divorce.  I didn’t know what the word meant, but I didn’t like the sound of it. I knew that nothing good came from it.

Divorce is NOT an Option

*If I’m not mistaken, it was April 1992 when my parents finalized their divorce.  Being an only child, this was difficult to deal with… alone.  I remember the time that led up to this immortalized memory.  The time when it seemed things were looking worse for my parents.  They were arguing more than usual and I remember days when my mom wouldn’t get out of the bed.  I didn’t know what was happening nor what any end result could be. I just tried to act as normal as possible.

*I remember the day I was told that my parents would be getting a DIVORCE.  Hearing this word was like a sudden punch in the gut. I didn’t know what the word meant, but I didn’t like the sound of it.  It was a word that sounded mean, evil, and disastrous.  I knew that nothing good could come from it, and for some reason I knew that my life would be forever changing. This was a decision that, at the time, my parents believed was best for them.

When my huz-band and I were dating, we knew we had found “the one” and because of my experience with divorce, we decided that divorce would be “against our religious beliefs”. I don’t believe anyone wants to go through the agony and pain of divorce. We would do everything within our power to prevent that word from being a choice. Divorce would not be an option. We promised each other to discuss everything, no matter how challenging it may be, and to continue to always work on our communication.    I’m sure the Huz-band has had times of thinking “What the hell have I gotten myself into”?  If I’ve thought and murmured these words, I know he has… but we have never once lost faith in Us.  We both have had our moments of being the more challenging one. Of course we will because challenges will come, but we have never allowed our pride, emotions, or frustrations to cause us to walk away.

I thank God that I was blessed with a spouse that continues to be patient with me even when I can be difficult and emotional and spoiled and unsure.  He’s never tried to change me, but has only encouraged me to be my best self.  We lift each other up.  We hold each other accountable and have realized that we are partners, a team orchestrated by God…not by chance.   We started off as friends, and unexpectedly our friendship grew into something magical.  I was recently asked if I could imagine myself without him.  I could, but I’d desperately be trying to get him back.  There’s no one else for me.

Happy Anniversary to Me & the Huz-band!!

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*In no way was this meant to insult, embarrass, or degrade my parents. I love them dearly and understand that sometimes difficult choices have to be made in order to gain personal peace.

Check out my last Blog Post—>The Follow Through

December 29, 2018:  Love is You!

Divorce is not an Option Picture 2

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Valentine’s Week Series Day 6: These Two Trees

I see us in these two trees. Shielding and Protecting each other with Love as our Root.

I see Us in these two trees…

You my protector, protecting me from anyone that could be potential harm as you wrap your arms tightly but comfortingly around me.

You shade me from those that speak negatively against me, shielding me from arrows that may fall from unexpected places.

I too, try to shield and protect you as best as I can. Ready to reach out at anyone that attempts to attack you or what we have.

Together we are learning how to navigate in this world. Away from the familiar, so we surround each other with this Love; trying not to smother each other with this Love.

I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine. Holding on to each other while confidently knowing that our Maker intertwined us forever.

I see Us in these two trees with Love, and this Love is our Root.

Valentine’s Week Series Day 6

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Valentine’s Week Series Day 5: The Beginning of Our Beginning

In college, my choir was taking pictures to advertise for our upcoming concert.  Now my friend Janessa, was always telling me about this particular guy on campus and how he was so cute and funny and always made her laugh.  She was more outgoing than me, so she was always out around campus meeting different people.   She was eager for me and the rest of our friends to meet him.  She didn’t know that he was in our choir, since he wasn’t there when we tried out.

So an-t-ways, she and I, and the rest of our friends, meet in the designated area on campus to meet up for the pictures.  Most people are there, except for the photographer. About 25 minutes later all the members of the choir have arrived, including the photographer.  But now people are becoming impatient.  I didn’t have any work that I needed to do, so I was okay.  I had eaten dinner early and all of my friends were there, so I was in no hurry to leave.

I’m standing next to Janessa and all of a sudden she’s like, “Hey Lyric!  That’s the guy I’ve been telling you about!”

I turn around and see a handsome, clean-cut caramel, colored guy complaining about needing to get to the library because he had to study.  He wasn’t wearing a White T or baggy jeans and Jordans.  He was dressed like he already had a professional job.  I was thinking, “Okay this guy seems really focused”. I was impressed by this.  He was an upper class-man, but it was good to see someone that understood their reason for being in college…to actually graduate with a nice grade point average.  It didn’t hurt that he was attractive.  I mean he was Jason Momoa, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, L. Caldwell fine!

“Hey Lance!  This is my friend Lyric.  Lyric this is Lance.”

“Nice to meet you”, Lance and I both say together shaking hands.

“Man, I’m ready to go”, Lance adds to the the end of his greeting…while speaking to someone else.

I know he didn’t.  He barely let my hand go when he said it, and he was already looking away from me talking to someone else.  All I thought was Rude and had no interest in getting to know him any further. I mean, I understood where he was coming from, but my interpretation of what he did was, “I really don’t care about meeting you little girl, cuz I got stuff to do.”  A Bad Start.

Weeks go by, and acquaintances we become. He accuses me of having an attitude because I’m from Dallas, and I accuse him of not being from Texas because he lacked the accent.  We hung out with different people, but our circles were always interlocked. Whenever our circles would go to the cafeteria at the same time, and he didn’t have a swarm of people around him, he would take the time to spit ice chips at me through his straw and look away trying to act like it wasn’t him…annoying indeed.

He seemed to enjoy informing me about the size of my head; or telling me how at times it looked as if my perm had gone firm because there was no life in my ponytail.  It was just sticking straight out.  No gone with the wind fabulosity at all.  However, every now and then, his big face would surprise me with a compliment.  This was the beginning of our beginning.  Our friendship developed even more that next year, and misguided love built a bond between us that can never be broken.

A Fiction-ish Story: Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

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 Valentine’s Week Series Day 5

Photo: Edited to hide the faces of those in the photo, since this may or may not be about those in the photo.

Valentine’s Week Series Day 4: You were my Favorite Teacher…

Happy Valentine’s Day to all that have learned lessons about how beautiful & hurtful love can be. Cheers to the professors and students of Love!

You were my favorite teacher, and as much as I want to say what a waste of time class was, I can’t. Your lessons did benefit my life.

With your assistance, I admit, I learned somethings about myself.  I saw how eager I was to give my heart away.  I don’t know, maybe there was some low self esteem involved…some daddy issues, or just plain innocence.

“We” were a lesson for me to learn from and you taught me oh so well. I can remember how you did all the little things, just because… and how you sweetened me with words. You convinced me to think I was your favorite and only pupil.

I admired you for your knowledge and your ability to know just what to say, at all the right moments. Not just to me, but to any that needed a piece of you. But even a “foolish man can give wise counsel”.

How clever you were at twisting my heart to believe in you. To have faith in you.  Not only were you a teacher, but you were also an actor, a clown, a mime, a fickle little boy.

I can still see that dramatic scene like it was yesterday. You caught in a lie.  Me attempting to walk away while you fall to your face begging and pleading for me not to leave you.  I was what you had always been praying for.  I was what you never dreamed God would bless you with.  That’s what you said.

It was the tears that did it.  Along with your flattering, flittering, forked tongue.  I remember.  I remember the tears and you crying out about your lessons learned.  You said you would never betray me again.

But, you did.

Today, I remember you teacher because you taught me to never be so gullible again. Thank you teacher for taking advantage of my heart. Thank you for reminding me to never place all of my faith, in any earthly man.  Thank you for mocking me and my naiveté, as I would hang up the phone with you so you could then impart your wisdumb onto another. Thank you for your counterfeit love.

But what is life without love and heartbreak? Can one say they have truly lived if they have not experienced the two? Life is full of lessons and Love is one of the most difficult classes to take.

Yes you were my favorite teacher, and I am glad I failed your class.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Week Series Day 4

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Featured Image from Buzzfeed

 

Valentine’s Week Series Day 3: Me, You, & Hym

I love You…I never truly loved Hym, but it’s too late.

I love You.  I can say that now. There’s no one I would rather say those magical words to.  I admit it took me awhile to realize it, but I know it now.

The timing was bad.  You were single, but I was kind of involved with someone else. You and I became close; acquaintances to best friends.  I could tell You anything, except the whole truth about Hym.  He was someone in my life that made me confused about my feelings for you.  I was dedicated to Hym.  We had history.  We were supposed to be together, that was what we had planned; but the closer You and I got the more I was able to see possibilities with You. You were different from Hym and special.

Talking to You, I remember feeling so comfortable.  With You I could be myself.  I can be the Me that really is Me.  With Hym, I find myself hiding the Me that I am with You.  I’m able to trust You.  I can let my guards down with You. You proved to Me, that you liked Me as a person.  You laugh at my stupid jokes and smile at Me.  I never feel as though you are expecting anything more than pure friendship from Me.  Maybe You wanted more, but I never felt any pressure to change how we were together.

I messed up with Hym!  I did.  Honestly, this shouldn’t have ever happened.  But I am forever bound to Hym.

You’ve moved on now.                                                                           Our time together is over.

It took me too long to admit what was in my heart, and I must deal with that.  I am loving what has been brought into my life, but I can never let You out of my mind.  I will always think about what could have been from a Me & You.

I hope she knows what she has.  I hope she realizes what a blessing You are.  I hope she tells You she loves You as often as I want to.  I hope You will never forget about Me.

Read What Boyfriend? Part I      and     What Boyfriend? Part II   of my Valentine’s Week Series for a tale of young love.

Valentine’s Week Series Day 3

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Photo: The Carmen Jones love triangle, featuring Dorothy Dandridge (Carmen Jones) ,Joe Adams (Husky Miller) ,and Harry Belafonte (Joe)

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