Remember back in elementary school, when it was important to follow the rules of gender or your classmates? As a little girl in the 1st grade, I definitely felt this way. Not in everything, but in some things.
I can remember during this time, realizing that I liked the color blue. I was told that girls were supposed to like red, pink, or purple and boys could like blue, green, or black. So, to not be accused of being a boy, I decided that I would choose the color red as my favorite color. Don’t get me wrong, I did not see myself as a boy, nor did I want to be a boy. I was very much happy being a girl, but I didn’t want to be accused of being a boy. This could lead to the devastation of being teased and losing friends. Even though the strength of the color blue brought me satisfaction, doing what was expected of me was more important.
I believed I had to change myself for the comfort of others.
I hated this new choice. I dealt with it internally, for about a day, but it was a big deal for me. I remember feeling like I had just let myself down. I no longer felt comfortable in my own skin. I felt the heavy burden of having lied to someone, and that someone was me.
The next day at school, when we were again either discussing favorite colors or choosing colors to use, I proudly professed my love for the color blue. I declared to my class that I didn’t care what they thought about me; my favorite color was blue! This was one of the 1st times in my young life, that I had to let someone know that I was going to be happy and proud of the choice I had made, regardless of what anyone else thought of me. Loving blue made me comfortable with myself, even if it was considered a boy color.
I say all of this to ask this question: What Choice are You Making because of Other People’s Expectations of You? Does it bring you happiness or peace? Does it allow you to be your true self?
If any of your answers are no, it’s time to realize that you have to stop living to make other people satisfied.
If it’s not going to bring physical pain to you, your friends, or family, do what is true to you! Do what you know you are supposed to be doing!
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