Divorce is NOT an Option

It was April 1992 when my parents finalized their divorce.  I didn’t know what the word meant, but I didn’t like the sound of it. I knew that nothing good came from it.

Divorce is NOT an Option

*If I’m not mistaken, it was April 1992 when my parents finalized their divorce.  Being an only child, this was difficult to deal with… alone.  I remember the time that led up to this immortalized memory.  The time when it seemed things were looking worse for my parents.  They were arguing more than usual and I remember days when my mom wouldn’t get out of the bed.  I didn’t know what was happening nor what any end result could be. I just tried to act as normal as possible.

*I remember the day I was told that my parents would be getting a DIVORCE.  Hearing this word was like a sudden punch in the gut. I didn’t know what the word meant, but I didn’t like the sound of it.  It was a word that sounded mean, evil, and disastrous.  I knew that nothing good could come from it, and for some reason I knew that my life would be forever changing. This was a decision that, at the time, my parents believed was best for them.

When my huz-band and I were dating, we knew we had found “the one” and because of my experience with divorce, we decided that divorce would be “against our religious beliefs”. I don’t believe anyone wants to go through the agony and pain of divorce. We would do everything within our power to prevent that word from being a choice. Divorce would not be an option. We promised each other to discuss everything, no matter how challenging it may be, and to continue to always work on our communication.    I’m sure the Huz-band has had times of thinking “What the hell have I gotten myself into”?  If I’ve thought and murmured these words, I know he has… but we have never once lost faith in Us.  We both have had our moments of being the more challenging one. Of course we will because challenges will come, but we have never allowed our pride, emotions, or frustrations to cause us to walk away.

I thank God that I was blessed with a spouse that continues to be patient with me even when I can be difficult and emotional and spoiled and unsure.  He’s never tried to change me, but has only encouraged me to be my best self.  We lift each other up.  We hold each other accountable and have realized that we are partners, a team orchestrated by God…not by chance.   We started off as friends, and unexpectedly our friendship grew into something magical.  I was recently asked if I could imagine myself without him.  I could, but I’d desperately be trying to get him back.  There’s no one else for me.

Happy Anniversary to Me & the Huz-band!!

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*In no way was this meant to insult, embarrass, or degrade my parents. I love them dearly and understand that sometimes difficult choices have to be made in order to gain personal peace.

Check out my last Blog Post—>The Follow Through

December 29, 2018:  Love is You!

Divorce is not an Option Picture 2


Love is You!

Love is You! It’s Our Anniversary
We didn’t date in college. An innocent friendship and appreciation for each other blossomed during that time. God allowed a time of chaos to bring about his plan for us to eventually date and marry.

A New Year has come!  What are you thankful for?  I am thankful for family, framily (close friends that feel like family), and the many blessings that have happened in this year and in my life.

Above all, I am grateful for the man that I refer to as the Huz-Band.  December 29, made our marriage together to be 11 years.  We’ve been together for so much longer….  He has seen me in my most naive stage of life, which was in college.  I was such a spoiled, no not spoiled, I was a youth with high expectations (its all about word choice), and he still accepted me and became a friend.

We didn’t date in college, but we met in college.  Such an innocent friendship and appreciation for each other blossomed during that time.   God allowed a time of chaos to bring about his plan for us to eventually date and marry.

Fast forward, Thursday on my facebook post to announce our anniversary, I stated that he loves me flaws and all.  No like seriously.  He loves me when I am feeling my lowest.  He loves me and finds me beautiful despite my negative opinion of myself at the time.  He even helped me to improve some of those flaws that didn’t matter to him, but he knew it was important to me.  He just wants me to be happy.  I consider myself to be a very honest person, so when I look in the mirror and see calamity, for some reason he doesn’t.  I don’t understand it, and I do try to believe him.  Maybe it’s the love goggles he wears….  I am much bigger than I was when we met, but he still sees me as beautiful despite the weight gain.  I remember being told to watch my weight because my husband may not find me attractive since I don’t look the way I did when we married.  In the words of Maury Povich, “…and that was a lie”.  He still loves me, even more and never less.

Maury Povich

This man is everything I needed and all that I didn’t know I needed.  I thank God daily for him because it takes a specially anointed man, to deal with me.  I know I can be a challenge, but in spite of that he still uses his God given patience to be able to handle me with love and care.  No matter how much hormones may or may not be at play.  A few years ago, God allowed me to see where my life could have been if things hadn’t taken the turn they took in college.  I wouldn’t have discovered the interests that I have now, but I would have many beautiful children whether we were ready for them or not.  I would also be living my life for the dreams and goals of the guy I thought I wanted to marry.  God knew what he was doing when he ended that entire fiasco, and as the great Andrae Crouch wrote, “Oh, and I’m glad, I’m glad he did”.

There were many women that were interested in him, but he chose me.  It wasn’t because he was taking advantage of these women.  There’s just something about him that draws people and makes them feel comfortable with him, men and women too.  Men admire him and at the college we attended many female students saw these characteristics and were attracted to it.  I was one of the girls laughing at the “fe-males” (pronounced like tamales) that were steadily in his face because they wanted more than friendship.  Many women can think a guy being nice means they are interested in a romantic relationship.  Never would I have thought we would be together as anything more than just friends, but I have no regrets.

Many times I have felt like I was undeserving of him.  I felt like I was unworthy of being given this Wonderful Human Being as my Partner for Life, but I strive to treat this Angel on Earth as the Heavenly Creature that he is.  Thank you God, for allowing me the privilege to have this Gift.  I was chosen….  He’s a blessing to all that know him and come across his path.  He is the Best Man, Best Husband, Best Friend, and the Best Future Father for me and our household.  I love you Lloyd!  Love is You!



Anniversary 2018

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