Soul Food Sundays 15: Looking Back
Looking back on life I realized there were many instances I experienced that still have the power to bring a tear to my eye. Who am I kidding, they bring many tears. I’m a very emotional person so many things can cause me to shed a few or hundred tears. Because of this I try not to dwell on those things thus adding to my wall of forget me nots because I can not forget them. This wall helps to block their view, but the issues, the situations, the emotions are still there.
I recently saw a picture of myself that opened the flood gates of those once upon a time memories. This picture removed a few bricks from my wall. I remembered how I felt alone during this time in my life. How my self esteem was underneath the scum of any near by lake. How wounds from divorce were still sore. How, as young as I was, I was attempting to be strong and brave although I was hurting and needed to cry out.
Thankfully at the time I saw this picture, I had someone there with me that I could express all of those feelings and emotions on to. I could let some of the hurt out. This person didn’t try to help me see how it has gotten better over time, nor did they try to say “Well look what God has done in spite of what you’ve been through”. They just listened and allowed me to be that young 13/14 year old girl and cry some of those frustrations out that I thought I had to keep behind the wall even then. I didn’t need a counselor, I just needed an ear. A physical person that I could see at the moment and be vulnerable to. I didn’t need encouragement or a voice telling me to be thankful for where I am now. I just needed someone to be there and to listen.
Thank you for reading!