Onion Salad

Daily I am cursed with the sometimes fatal aroma of Onion Salad.  I didn’t even know Onion Salad was a real thing, until I saw it online.  I don’t understand it as a meal and I don’t understand why Johnnie, Jamal, Jasmine, and Johanna are still coming to my classroom smelling like it.  They come into the room and knock me out with their loud, intrusive, and unforgivable odor.  I black out for at least 30 seconds, I know I do.  It’s like my life, my feelings, and my nostrils aren’t important.  Am I supposed to just ignore and tolerate?  Not today Satan!  Not Ever!

No one wants to smell the onions permeating from beneath your child’s arm pits.  These kids are coming to school smelling like grown men that work outdoors in the heat.  They stopped smelling cute two years ago.  You know you smelled them when they walked past you this morning.  You know you noticed it.  That wasn’t you you were smelling (I hope), that was them…your baby.  Yes, they’re bodies are maturing now.

They got the newest iPhone, but they smellin all wrong.

 

Image result for iphone X
apple.com

Got them Beats, and they bringin the heat.

Image result for Beats by Dre
beatsbydre.com

They got on them Jordans, but smellin like Gorton’s.  Mother’s teach your daughters before someone embarrasses them.

Image result for gordmans fish sticks
gortons.com

Now, I do my best to explain to my students the importance of making sure that after they bathe with soap and hot or warm water, to dry off so that they mayest anoint their underarms with deodorant.  I believe it is selfish and rude of them to not do so.  They aren’t the only ones walking around the school.  Can I get an Amen?  Leave the body sprays and colognes alone, until you rub on that de-o-do-rant.  They need more than baby powder under them pits.

Why should I have to suffer every time they walk past me?  Come on parents! Teach your babies how to wash their clothes too, if you don’t have time to wash their clothing for them.  That same shirt or jacket or hoodie they were musty in, is still musty! 

Oh, you mad at me because I talked to your child about hygiene…who else is going to teach them?  Clearly you’re not.  I don’t want to hear about them being “bullied” and made fun of because other students are saying they smell bad.  Hey lady, hello sir, they do!

This is an easy fix.  They didn’t make themselves.  They didn’t ask to be here.  Help your baby…for everyone’s sake.  No more Onion Salad…I don’t want it and I didn’t order it!  Thanking You!

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s